So September has arrived and I'm starting to plan my little boy's third birthday. THIRD. THREE. How did that happen? Sometimes it seems crazy to think he is almost three. How on earth did we get here?
When Blaine was in NICU, particularly in those first few weeks, I would spend ages stood at the picture board in the corridor. It was covered in photos, thank you cards and letters, poems and stories of incredible progress. I must've read and re-read everything on that board a hundred times. I would look at the photos that resembled Blaine with photos next to them of toddlers, sitting, walking, playing, laughing. Some in school uniform, some with Santa, some holding siblings. I would stare and stare; looking from the first photo to the recent photo in disbelief. But also in hope. Just maybe, if I let myself dream a little bit, that would be my little boy.
It's a long day in NICU, most of it sat by an incubator, some of it wandering corridors, some of it sat infront of a trashy mag or wordsearch. All of it filled with stomach churning anxiety. I found comfort on that wall, that picture board. I knew every inch of it and would show it to family when they visited. 'Look!' I'd say. Desperately watching their response, hoping they too would believe it.
Blaine will be three on 22nd September. He now has a place on that wall. He is one of those babies that offer hope. It doesn't seem real. That baby that fit in my hand, hidden under wires and tubes in an incubator is now on the wall!
And I know it helps the poor mum who stands in front of it day after day searching for a glimpse of hope, a glimpse of the future.